


the one where Clint doesn't like Rhodey

by singingwithoutwords



Series: Imagine Tony and Rhodey [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint Is a Good Bro, M/M, Team as Family, and also sometimes a pain, because emotions, clint disapproves of tony's taste in men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:43:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5300765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singingwithoutwords/pseuds/singingwithoutwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a prompt from the <a href="http://imaginetonyandrhodey.tumblr.com/">Imagine Tony and Rhodey</a> blog:</p>
<p>Somehow, some of the Avengers don't like Rhodey.  Tony doesn't understand this at all, and he would like it to stop interfering with his sex life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the one where Clint doesn't like Rhodey

**Author's Note:**

> Rated for minor mentions of sex and repeated use of the word cockblock.

Steve had made them all swear they were going to be civil.  Clint had made the promise pretty damn reluctantly, but he  _had_  promised, and he  _was_  doing his best, but the fact remained that he did not like Colonel James Rhodes, and there was a reason SHIELD never tried sending him on undercover missions.

It wasn’t that Rhodes was just inherently unlikable.  He was actually pretty easy-going and charismatic, and in another life, Clint actually thought they’d get along pretty well.

But this wasn’t a different life, this was a life where Clint knew Tony Stark.  Therefore, he  _could not stand_  Colonel James Rhodes.

Clint was a spy and sometimes-assassin, he understood doing unpleasant things and betraying people who trusted you from time to time, he really did.  But there was betraying people who trusted you, then there was watching your best friend very obviously self-destruct and deciding that, instead of helping him, you were going to beat him up, steal his suit of amazing high-tech armor, hand said armor over to his business rival and also the person trying to kill him, then just keeping said armor instead of giving it back after you stealing it almost got him killed.

“You’re doing it again,” Tony commented, throwing himself down on the couch next to Clint.

Clint grunted, but didn’t stop trying to light Rhodes on fire with the power of his death glare.

“I have explained this to you, Birdie,” Tony said, sighing.  “Several times.”

“Then you don’t need to explain it again,” Clint said.

“Apparently I do,” Tony disagreed, leaning heavily against Clint’s side.  “And really, it’s unnatural.  Like, literally against the laws of nature, you’re violating physics, stop it.”

Clint let Tony lean on and prod him, continuing to glare at Rhodes chatting with Steve.  Steve was better at being civil than anyone but Nat, and had been running interference all afternoon to keep Clint or Thor from catching Rhodes alone.

“Seriously, why are you hating on Rhodey?”  Tony asked, sighing again.  “Rhodey is a saint, okay?  You should be in awe of him.  You’ve met me, you should be feeling sorry for him, not trying to prove looks actually  _can_  kill.”

Clint scowled.  “I have more positivity lectures,” he warned ominously.  Seriously, if Rhodes was such a good guy, why did Tony seem to think their relationship was some kind of burden?

(Okay, Clint knew that that wasn’t actually Rhodes’s fault, but no one has ever accused emotions of being  _logical_.)

Tony shuddered theatrically, shifting so he was actually draped across Clint’s lap and in a perfect position to steal his beer.  “You are evil.”

Clint couldn’t help the snort of amusement that slipped past his guard.  For such a bundle of unbridled neuroses, Tony was actually a pretty great guy.  Maybe if he saw some evidence that Rhodes actually agreed with that, he’d go a bit easier on him.

Tony finished off Clint’s beer, sighing.  “He’s gonna wanna go back to his place tonight if you keep this up.”

“Good.”

“And I’m willing to bet you won’t let me go with him.”

“Damn right I won’t.”

“You do realize that you are preventing me from getting some of the best sex legally allowed on the planet, right?”

Clint choked.  Thankfully not on anything, since his beer was empty.  “Dammit, Tony, you can’t just  _say_ shit like that!”

“ _Then stop cockblocking me!_ ”

“Do we even want to know?” Natasha asked from the next couch over.

“Your bow monkey is cockblocking me,” Tony complained.  “Make him stop.  I cannot have this level of sexual frustration in my life, it’s unhealthy, okay, I  _need to get laid_.”

“Clint, stop cockblocking Tony,” Bruce said from the armchair opposite Natasha, not even looking up from his reading.

“Never,” Clint vowed.

Rhodes dropped onto the couch on Tony’s other side, kissing Tony as if they weren’t in a public space with people who did not need to see that shit.

“You can’t be that frustrated, sweetie,” Rhodes said.  “We had sex two days ago.”

Clint screamed not unlike a twelve-year-old girl confronted with a worm and clapped his hands over his ears.  “Oh my God, I can’t  _know_  these things!”

Rhodes laughed, and so did Tony (and so did Natasha, the traitor).  Clint huffed and slouched down in his seat, not taking his hands off his ears until Tony started poking him in the side.

“Birdbrain, I love you, I make you complex finicky arrows and let you live with me, and I appreciate this weird possessive rawr mama bear vibe you’ve got going, but seriously, I am a grown-ass man, I know what I’m doing.”

Rhodes snorted in clear disagreement, and Tony turned and smacked him lightly on the arm before facing Clint again.

“Now I am going to take my incredibly hot boyfriend, and we are going to go up to my room and play mad scientist, and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it.”

It seemed appropriate at that point for Clint to make theatric gagging noises and fall off the couch.  Tony laughed at him, which was about what Clint had expected, then got up and pulled Rhodes to his feet, too.  Clint made sure to glare at them the entire way to the elevator, which was why he saw Rhodes’s lips move, and what he read made him feel maybe just a bit better about Tony’s awful taste in men.

_“I’m glad you’ve got someone looking out for you, Tones.”_


End file.
